Tea Party, Anyone?

Annabelle is reaching the age where she's really starting to get the hang of "dramatic play." She can play by herself for a couple of hours and be completely engulfed in whatever it is she is playing. I love this. I was the same way.

Recently we've made a discovery. AB got a hold of her tea set that she received a few months back for her birthday. Yes, we've had it a while, but all of a sudden it's the greatest thing ever.

The other night we set it up as a tea party, and she went to town playing and serving her and myself. It was so much fun. That play continued the very next day after we were up and dressed.

It is so much fun to watch her grow and play like this. Playing was a very serious business to me when I was little, and I'm seeing some of that come out in AB, as well. Yay for playing, and yay for tea parties!

I Trust You, Jesus!

Everyday is so much easier than the last. I find that I have a ton more good days than bad, but when the sadness hits, is more during small times of the day or night. I'll find that something will remind me of my pregnancy. It reminds me of how excited I was, and I get sad. I know that God has His reasons. It sounds so cliche, but it's so true. I've been yearning for a closer relationship with Him for a couple of years. I've been lazy in my efforts and I've been searching for ways and reasons to be closer to Him and bring glory to His name. Since I lost my sweet baby, I have talked to Him almost every hour of the day (if not minute). I am in constant connection with God. Most of the time it's prayerful and full of love. Although, I have to admit at times I'm questionable and a bit frustrated with the loss of my baby. I don't understand, why! Why me? Why anyone? In whatever way it may be, I'm still in constant communication and connection with my God.

I've mentioned it before, but my comfort and I feel, "direct line" to God has been my devotional, Jesus Calling. I am completely amazed how God reaches me through this book. I can't tell you how many days I've felt confused, disillusioned, angry, etc...with situations. I start thinking too much about my future and how its all going to work out. How? HOW?

I was feeling this way tonight. Don't judge, but I was watching "16 and Pregnant" on MTV. Since being a mom, I get so involved in these girls lives and I can't imagine going through it as a teen. Especially since my miscarriage. I was watching one episode that was extremely touching. One of the teen mom's little boys had a genetic disorder that wouldn't allow him to grow and caused sorosis of the liver. Then as he got a little bit older, they found out he had hydrocephalus. This would be too much to deal with for a completely stable, married adult; but to be 18/19 years old and go through it? No way. Anyway, I was watching this young mom's heart be transformed and matured by her child's condition(s). She made the decision at the young age of 19 to not have any more children due to his condition being genetic, and to become a nurse. It was inspiring. Her little boy was precious. So sweet and loving. Yet his life-expectancy was unknown. I can't even imagine.

My mind starts going. I started thinking about my baby. I've always felt this baby was a boy. I want my baby back. I wanted him so much. Being a mom has been the biggest blessing in my life. I loved being pregnant. I loved having a newborn. I loved nursing. I've loved every single stage of Annabelle's life. I want to do it again. So then I get myself thinking about how bad I want to be pregnant, again. Although we were ecstatic about this baby, we were so overwhelmed with what to do next year as far as me working. We're not quite at a point to where I can stay home, comfortably. It would be tight, and I just don't really want to work with two kids...especially if they're close in age. So I had a bit of a panic attack about how it was all going to work. I stopped. I prayed and asked God to work this out and to please help us find a way to make it work in His perfect timing. I then opened my devotional. Once again, God spoke to me. He spoke directly to me, through the words and wisdom of Sarah Young. I want to share it. It's too wonderful not to share.

January 4
"I WANT YOU TO LEARN A NEW HABIT. Try saying, I trust You, Jesus" in response to whatever happens to you. If there is time, think about who I Am in all my Power and Glory; ponder also the depth and breadth of My Love for you.

This simple practice will help you see Me in every situation, acknowledging My sovereign control over the universe. When you view events from this perspective - through the Light of My universal presence - fear loses its grip on you. Adverse circumstances become growth opportunities when you affirm your trust in Me no matter what. You receive blessings gratefully, realizing the flow directly from My hand of grace. Your continual assertion of trusting Me will strengthen our relationship and keep you close to Me."

So, another awesome example of God's continual grace and guidance. He will never lead me astray, and I'm thankful for this opportunity to grow closer to Him. I know His plan is perfect, and any time I am anxious about the future,  I can just say, "I trust You, Jesus!"

A Smoothie of Her Very Own

After school Mommy needed something sweet. So, we drove through Jack in the Box and got one of their very delicious smoothies. I thought AB would enjoy one, too.

I think it was a hit.

What do you think?