Confessions of a Working Mom - Part I

"Working Mom." I honestly never thought I would gain that title, but I have. My mom was a stay at home mom. I loved it. So when I was old enough to start thinking about having kids, I always told myself I would be a stay at home mom. Well, timing and planning are everything and that isn't quite so. I am now a working mom. I could sit here and throw myself a pity party about how much I miss my baby for seven hours of the day. How hard it is for someone else to do MY job. I could sit here and cry about how I should be the one to witness her "firsts" and give her all her feedings and comfort all of her cries... ok, well I guess that was a bit of a pity party I just threw...but,throw me a bone. I've only been back to work two weeks. It's hard - really hard. However, I am trying to look at the positives and focus on those. This is what I've come up with:

• I have an incredibly rewarding job. I may be leaving my baby for seven hours of the day, but I have the privilege to educate and take care of other people's babies for that time. They are trusting me with their child, just like I am trusting someone with mine.
• I am out the door everyday at 3:15 (with the exception of Wednesdays...a teacher needs a "late day" to get everything done for the next week).
• Kindergarten is a blast. I crack up most of my day. They are sweet and loving, and the best part...they love me and Annabelle. Even though they have never met her, that is the wonderful thing about the heart of a five year old. You let them into your lives and share your thoughts with them, and they start to love the things you love and own the things you own.
• Teaching is in my blood. I love it...I have a hunger for it. Although, my hunger for being a mommy trumps it just a bit.
• We have most definitely been blessed with an incredible babysitter. I almost feel like that title is too juvenile for ALL she does and means to us. She is more like a mentor/friend that gets to hang out with my baby for the day. :0) She has taught me things in such a subtle and non-abrasive way. Even though she has tons of experience being a mommy, she doesn't impose her thoughts or theories on me. For this reason, I love asking her opinion and getting her advice. Let's face it, as a new mom...I don't know squat!! Best of all, I know she cares for Annabelle.
• It doesn't hurt that it takes me 3 WHOLE MINUTES to get to her house from my work. I LOVE being that close to AB. If I had to run, literally on foot, to get to her...I could.
• I have to pat myself on the back. I am breastfeeding (which was most definitely a feat within itself) and consistently pumping at work during the very few breaks I have during the day. It is time consuming, but I am committed to it. Let me clarify, there is NOTHING wrong with formula. We still supplement with formula a little bit. It is just that I think I'm so passionate about breastfeeding because I AM a working mom. That is something that only I can have. No one else can have that kind of time or bond with her. I need that for myself.

Those are my "glass half fulls" for the day! Really, I'm struggling on the inside. I hate leaving my baby. Don't misunderstand me, I don't dread my job or going to my job. I dread leaving my baby. There's a difference. I've had some really hard days. Days I just want to cry and cry. Days where Austin comes home and takes one look at my face, and says, "I'll cook dinner tonight." I think he sees that even that short time it takes for me to cook dinner, I could be spending the extra time with AB. I am so grateful for all God has done and is doing in my life. I don't know what God's plan is for next year. We're praying about it and will cross that bridge when we get there. For He knows what is best for me, Austin, and AB. I totally and completely have a new appreciation for all you working mom's out there. It's tough. There's a lot of guilt that comes into play. Guilt for not being with your baby. Then when you leave work and maybe feel like you didn't give it your all, you feel guilty for that too. It's almost like being torn in two different directions. Whether I stay a working mom or eventually stay at home, I will always have an appreciation for you moms. However, I know staying at home is a job within itself. I am grateful for the adult time that my job gives me. But more than anything, I just want that Annabelle time. Leaving you with a picture that I got from the sitter last week. These types of things make my day when I'm missing my baby AB. It makes this working mom very happy.

Proud to Announce...

1 Month Old

My Precious Annabelle,

You are one month old, today!! Happy one month, sweet girl. I can't believe one month has already flown by!!! It seems like it took f-o-r-e-v-e-r for you to get here, and now you are already a whole month old. I had so much fun getting you all dolled up for your first month's birthday picture! You are such a sport about letting mommy play dress-up with you. You even put up with all the pictures I take and you sometimes even pose like you know what you're supposed to do!

Oh, AB, you will NEVER know the joy your Daddy and I felt the day you came into this world. It was by far the happiest day of our life, and I didn't think anything could top our wedding day, but your birthday sure did. Your Daddy had a smile on his face that went from ear to ear. Now, you're Daddy is a pretty sweet guy, but never has he smiled that big and that much in the ten years that we had been together. You most definitely bring out the good in us and our marriage. We loved you instantly.

As I think back on the best, and by far, busiest month of my life, I have such fond, fond memories of the day you were born and the time in the hospital. Every time the nursery would bring you to me, I just stared at you in amazement - you were really mine. We knew instantly you were a good baby. You cried only when you were hungry, and when you were awake, you were perfectly content with just being held. You opened those big, beautiful eyes and we just fell so in love with them. Everyone commented on how alert you were. Your Dad and I thought so, too. Did I mention, AB, that you didn't want to come out??? Nope. You probably would still be tucked safely inside my womb, had the doctor not made you come out. Even when you did make your debut, you for sure let us know that you would much rather be back where you were warm, safe, and not bothered. The nurses in the delivery room were laughing about how you were carrying on so. Oh, you cried at the top of your lungs to let everyone know that they had disturbed you in your quiet place. My goodness though, was your cry music to my ears. You calmed down once they handed you to your Daddy. You still do that. He has a gentle, calming way to him. Works with Mommy, too.

The time in the hospital was so wonderful with you, Annabelle, Mommy almost didn't want to leave. It was fun getting you all dressed up to go home. You wore the same dress that Mommy wore when I went home from the hospital. Did I mention how much you and I look alike? Our baby pictures are very similar. You, again, were such a champ that day letting me put the dress on you and you even wore a bow with no qualms. You are such a good baby. In the hospital a good friend brought me Peanut Butter M&M's. I ate them the whole time I was there. To this day, I still demand that a package of PB M&M's be lying around the house for me to munch on. I figured this isn't just because I love the taste, but because it reminds me of that sweet time we first spent together. Since I am nursing you, I figure you will either grow up to love PB M&M's or absolutely detest the taste since I am constantly eating them. In the hospital, I literally just held you for two days straight (when we didn't have visitors, that is). Speaking of visitors, man, did you have a lot of people come to see you. You were quite the popular one around here, Miss AB.

This last month you have taught me so much! Being the only child self-centered person that I am, you have taught me to definitely be a lot more self-less. It is all about you now, baby girl. And I am proud to no longer put myself first and to think about you and your needs. After four weeks, I already know so much about you. I guess that's because we spend every single waking hour together, huh? We can tell that you do heir a bit on the stubborn side. Don't worry about it, though, you come by it naturally. You will fight going to sleep with all that is in you. Your eyes can be completely shut and Daddy and I think that you're asleep, then the next thing we know, you're wide awake and talking up a storm to yourself. And yes, you do talk. You also smile at us. We couldn't believe that our (at the time) three week old baby is smiling and cooing and communicating with us. You have the sweetest little voice and Daddy and I could sit with you for hours on end listening to all the things you have to "say." I find you are most responsive and alert after you get through eating. You are laying in my lap staring at me, and I will start talking to you and making the silly faces that Mommies make at their babies, and before I know it, you have a huge smile on your face. It's heaven, pure heaven.

Your Daddy and I could just stare at you all day. I think when we first brought you home, and Daddy had two weeks off with me, we did. We just stared at you. You can really make us laugh, too. Some of the things we find funny; you make hilarious faces in your sleep. Sometimes they are huge gummy smiles, and other times you do the funniest things with those sweet lips of yours. We also laugh, because girl, you can toot with the best of them! I know you're probably going to kill me for this when you read this when you're 18, but I have to mention it. One reason being, Daddy thinks that little girls don't do that. It isn't "ladylike." Well, you showed him, because sometimes that is how you greet him when he gets home from work. He is sweet talking to you, and then you just let one rip. It makes Mommy laugh very hard.

Oh, and how you can cry and let us know you mean business. You don't do this very often, but when you do, there is no messing around. You have the most perfect little cry and make the most sad and pitiful faces. Oh, they are precious. I remember at your two week appointment, you had to get a shot in your leg. My goodness, it STILL brings tears to my eyes when I think about your face when you got that shot. I immediately picked you up and fought back my own tears. I do not like seeing my baby girl in pain. Most of the time, your cry is just to let us know you want to eat...really, really want to eat! Other times it is because you are fighting your sleep. Remember that stubborn thing I was talking about? Yes, this is where it most shows. You will be crying and fighting it, then in the middle of this little tantrum, you will yawn a big yawn. These are the times I wish I could reason with you and explain, that yes, you are sleepy and you need to just give into it. I can't do that, so I just let you throw your fit. It's really the cutest fit I've ever seen.

Rarely, Miss Annabelle, do you leave this house without a bow on your head. Mommy LOVES the bows. I try not to get too outrageous with them, but I just can't help myself. Nobody will mistake you for a boy, you can bet on that.

My favorite time of the day with you is your mid-morning feeding. I love this time because right after I get done feeding you, I don't want to put you down. You usually fall asleep in my arms or on my chest. At this time, I take advantage of napping with you. We both sleep for a couple of hours at least. Speaking of sleep, girlfriend, you are an awesome sleeper. It may take you a while to get there, but once you do...you can sleep with the best of them. At two weeks old, you were sleeping five hours at a time through the night. Your Daddy and I can't believe how lucky we are, because you will find out as you get older...Mommy and Daddy LOVE to sleep. We cherish it, but don't worry, we cherish you more. When you were almost three weeks old you slept eight hours through the night. I have to admit, I was terrified when I first woke up and realized how much time had lapsed between your last feeding and when I woke up. As soon as I saw you were ok, I realized that you had slept for that long. I was amazed. I love, love, love it when you are all swaddled and sleeping. You have the most peaceful look on your face, and I could just eat you up. Speaking of swaddling, your Daddy is the swaddling champ! I even wake him up at early morning hours just to swaddle you to get you back to sleep. I will miss when you aren't swaddled anymore. I love having you all bundled up and snuggling with you.

Oh, but your smiling face tops all my favorite Annabelle "faces". You show us those beautiful gums of yours and it makes our hearts smile. Some people actually argue with us when we tell them you are smiling, but we know you are. It isn't gas, it isn't a coincidence, you are smiling at us. We are the Mommy and the Daddy, and we know when our baby is smiling and whe she has "gas." Here's proof!

Bath time has become one of your favorite times and this is where we see a lot of smiles and cooing from you. However, your first couple experiences with the bath weren't that great, but you have really started to enjoy it. Your Daddy and I really enjoy this time with you, too. Speaking of others enjoying you, the animals (and there are quite a few of them) in this house have really claimed you as their own, Scout mostly. She is very concerned when you cry and seem upset. She usually comes up to you and gives you a quick kiss on the head, and if I'm not paying attention, a quick kiss right in the smack middle of your face. This doesn't seem to bother you, but you always look a bit surprised when she does it. I think you two are going to be best buds, and you will definitely have another being in this house looking after you. Sometimes when you are in your swing, she will lay beside you...it's very sweet.

Oh my sweet AB, you are definitely a gift from above and I can't begin to tell you what a joy you are. I love you so very much and I can't wait to see what the months ahead will bring. I can only imagine after one month how much I love you, how that love will only grow as you get older. You are precious, absolutely precious, and I couldn't ask for anything more. Your Daddy and I agree, you are the best thing that has ever happened to us and we want the very best for you. We pray for you all the time and ask God's protection over you. You are most definitely Heaven Sent, and I couldn't ask for a better gift.

Love you,

Mommy

A Family Resemblance?

Annabelle wore home from the hospital the same dress that I wore home from the hospital. We weren't sure if it was going to work seeing as that Annabelle was predicted to be an eight pound baby and I weighed about six pounds, but it did! My mom has had this sweet dress framed in a shadow box in her bedroom for years. So you can imagine how surreal it was for me to put that same dress on my daughter. My mom scanned our take-home pictures and put them next to eachother. We can't get over how much we look alike as babies! Like mother, like daughter, I guess!

First Post as a Mom

It's funny how my life is now completely determined by feedings and naps. I love it, though. I've waited nine LONG months to meet this sweet angel and she's finally here. Annabelle Noel Aldrich arrived on August 24, 2009 at 1:54 pm and weighed 8lbs. 6 oz. and was 19 and a half inches long. And yes, I did push that 8lb. baby out...with an epidural of course!

And check out the size of those feet!! We can't get over how big her feet are, and how her little toes are so long. She's perfect, though. We couldn't be more blessed. The delivery was as smooth as it could be. I went in on Sunday to get a cervidil to soften my cervix and open me up a bit. The cervidil ended up putting me into labor and by 4 'o' clock Monday morning, I needed that epidural. They had given me an ambien, but the ambien didn't help much with the contractions. I slept like a baby through the rest of the night. By 8 'o' clock the next morning, Dr. McClintock came in and broke my water. At that point I was dilated to a four or a five. I was making really good progress. Austin and my dad went to eat breakfast downstairs and my mom and Nicole came in and babysat me until it was time to start pushing. I don't remember much of that except for the fact that my belly and back itched like crazy from the epidural. I had Nicole itching my belly and my mom rubbing lotion on my back. Austin said I was pretty loopy and out of it from the epidural. He said I kept looking around with a goofy grin on my face and saying, "I love epidurals!" When they came in and checked me around 10 '0' clock I was about a six. An hour later I was a 7/8 and around 12:30 I was a 9/10. Nicole was calling Austin with the updates, and when I hit ten centimeters, he was back upstairs with me and Debbie (my surrogate mother and one of my best friend's mom's) who I was so blessed to get to have her be my nurse, told us we were ready to start pushing. I started pushing around 1:30 or so and Debbie kept telling me she thought I would have this baby before 2:00. I pushed for twenty minutes, and at 1:54 Annabelle arrived. They actually put a mirror in front of me so I could watch - amazing. Absolutely amazing. I couldn't believe she was here and she was mine, and I have never seen a prouder Poppa than Austin. That guy was smiling ear to ear and watched her every move until they put her in his arms to bring her to me. Check out the smile on his face.

The after delivery was a bit of a different story - not quite so ideal. Without going into all the gorey details, I had postpartum hemhorraging and for a while there, it got pretty bad. I didn't know what was going on, and neither did Austin, but when more and more nurses started piling into my room and I was being poked, proded, and pushed on...we knew things weren't going well. My uterus wouldn't contract which caused a lot of extra bleeding. I was pumped full of meds to stop the bleeding. It was pretty scary but luckily for me, ignorance is bliss and I didn't really know worst case scenario but luckily we didn't have to go there. Austin is the one who really had the scare because he had to witness everything and he could sense the concern in Debbie's and the doctor's voice. Luckily, the meds worked and after what seemed forever, the bleeding stopped. Debbie ended up telling me later, "You gave me a real scare...I know too much." God was good, though, and I didn't even end up needing a transfusion or anything. Here is the nurse of the year, herself!!

My stay in the hospital was amazing, and I couldn't have asked for anything better. Now we're home and getting used to being parents. It's pretty awesome. I couldn't do it without my wonderfu husband. He has been so hands-on and supportive. He loves his little girl and at every perfect opportunity is photographing something cute she's doing or just staring at her. They are quite the match made in Heaven. I love them both so much. Thank you for all of you who prayed me through these last nine months. Annabelle is finally here and I couldn't be happier. Here are some pics from the best day of our lives.

Couldn't have done it without this sweet girl's help. Nicole was there with me every step of the way. I may not have had a biological sister, but that is why God gave me Nicole.

Seriously? Could there be a sweeter picture?

Oh, what joy Annabelle has brought to our lives. We will never be the same...but in such a good way. Thank you, Lord, for your many blessings!!

- The Aldrich's :0)

The Day Before the BIG Day!

Well, it's officially Sunday. Which makes it officially one day before I become a Mommy. I'm going in tonight at 5 pm to get a cervidil which will soften my cervix and hopefully help me dilate some more. Then, Monday morning they will induce me. I don't think it's completely hit me that in 24 hours (give or take) I'm going to be a mom. Whoa! That's big! I'm feeling that "burst of energy" before the delivery...otherwise known as nesting. I'm doing laundry, cleaning the kitchen, and getting everything organized and ready for the hospital. I feel good. I feel calm. I'm pretty sure that on the way to the hospital that will change and I will realize that my life will forever be changed and I will have someone other than myself to think about from now on. I think I'm up for the challenge. God is good. He has provided for us in many ways and opened some doors for us and I can totally see His hand in all of it. I am thankful for my sweet husband who has been there for me every step of the way through this pregnancy. He has loved me through my good and bad times. I'm very lucky to be able to give my daughter the gift of a good father. I know not everyone has had that. I wanted to also thank you, my friends, for the love and support you have shown me over the last nine months. I am so thankful for such wonderful people in my life. Please know how much that means.

I wanted to let you know that Austin has created a twitter account just for this blessed event! He told me that once we get to the hospital he is comphiscating my phone and wants me to relax and not worry about keeping people informed (I am quite the texter). He said that he will update his twitter account to let everyone know what's going on. So, I wanted to leave you with that if you are interested in keeping up with the progress...however, I realize that everyone else has lots more important things to do! :0) I just wanted you to know it was there. I have never been on twitter, but here is the link. If you want, check it from time to time for updates.

I leave you now with my hubby's latest Facebook status that pretty much describes how we are getting ready for AB's arrival. I read it and immediately laughed and it made my heart smile. My husband's thoughts, according to Facebook:

"Austin Aldrich is "nesting" with the wife. It used to be called "cleaning," but now we're "nesting." '

He's so funny! Ok, well actually my crazy self is going to run to Whataburger at 12:30 am to get the hubby and I taquitos. Hey - we love us some Whataburger taquitos and I know the days of leaving at midnight whenever I want to do that are about to be very few and far between. Better take advantage of it the last night before she gets here. Again, thanks for all the prayers and keep 'em comin'.

Much love to all!!

-Jen :0)

Doctor's Visit No. 16

I went in today for a check-up to see if I'd made any progress or not for my induction on Monday. Nope. No progress. None whatsoever! (Sigh) Not that I was really expecting it, but one can hope. So, I'm being admitted into labor and delivery on Sunday night to get a cervidil. This will soften my cervix and open me up some so that I can be induced on Monday morning. Annabelle seems perfectly content where she is, and so I'm certain she'll stay put until Monday morning...unless the cervidil puts me into labor which she said it can do. So, it looks like I'm FINALLY going to meet my sweet baby on Monday. I can't believe it - it really hasn't hit me yet. Oh, and by the way, I went in on Wednesday for a sonogram because I felt Annabelle hadn't been moving as much as she normally does. The sonogram technician told me that she guessed her weight to be about 8lbs. 8oz. at this point in the game. Whoa - can we say episiotomy??? Lol! Or maybe c-section??? TMI?? Sorry. Anyway, however she gets here, I just want her here safely and I'm so all about that. Well, looks like by next week we'll have Annabelle. Thanks for all the prayers and support. Keep 'em comin'! Much love!