He's All I Need

Something I've really come to learn about myself over the last several months, is how incredibly sensitive I am. Most of you who have known me my whole life are probably wondering why I am just now figuring this out....because you've known this about me for years!! I've known it, too, but the degree of which I become sensitive is increased. I'm assuming most of it has to do with the last year of my life. My work environment, my pregnancy with Landree, those two combined, and Landree's many special needs - sigh - has turned me into a quite the basket case, at times. I find myself wanting peace and very little problems with those around me. I guess I feel all the issues we have with Landree seem so big, that "the small stuff" just really isn't all that important anymore. I feel like I rarely find myself wanting to make my house more beautiful, or needing things that I really don't need, or simply getting myself worked up over things that don't matter. Pretty much - things that don't have anything to do with my kids or husband, I try not to get myself worked up over. However, this school year has posed it's trials with new curriculum, new environment and learning to be a working mom of two, and my emotions have gotten the best of me - but again, this has to do with my kids. I have days where I really struggle when I feel I've lost a friend or have one upset with me. I don't understand. Why can't "the small stuff" be overlooked by others? I know I'm learning how to do it. Of course, no one has walked in my shoes and I can't expect people to understand what I mentally and emotionally go through on a daily basis. But there are the few close friends who do empathize and love me, and yet, I find disappointment in them, too. It's not their fault - I allow that to happen.

Point being - I still put too much faith in humans. What do humans do? They fail. They fail miserably at most things. I can say this, because I am one. 100% human, and I fail everyday. I'm sure I fail my friends, family, etc..., as well. My prayer is lately, to not put so much "stock" into humans, who continually disappoint. I am trying to be more diligent to focus on the One who doesn't disappoint, but continually loves and supports. My Creator and My Father is the one who I turn to. Thank goodness for Him. Thank goodness for a loving Heavenly Father to uplift and encourage.

My heavy heart is crying out to Him for His comfort and peace. I'm trying to learn that being sensitive to different things by done and said by people is obsolete. All I need is the love of my Father and His promises to me. Thank goodness for that. Thank goodness scripture provides that peace and promise of God's love.

"Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled, and do not be afraid." John 14:27

Amen.