Landree's Stay in the NICU: Day 3

April 9, 2012

As I got up this morning in preparation for this 9:00 am feeding, my prayer was that last night was just a fluke. Since it was the end of the day, she was just tired from it all. Even though, all she does is lie there and sleep. I was praying for a better morning. 

I arrived this morning and she had actually already eaten. The OT that I worked with before she was admitted into the hospital had already been by to evaluate her, this meant she had to feed her. To my disappointment, she only had 30 ml/cc for her. Her goal for the day, 45 ml/cc in 25-30 min. It pained me that she was 15 ml/cc off from reaching this goal. Since she had already eaten, we just spent the next couple of hours cuddling. She's good for that!

I was hoping that if I stuck around until her 12:00 noon feeding she would open her eyes and wake up, ready for a bottle, even though this was supposed to be a gavauge feeding. No such luck, she just slept...and slept and slept.

Austin and I had been discussing our "plan" while she's in the NICU. Going up three times a day is killing us in gas and parking money. So, we decided that I would go up in the morning, spend a couple, few hours with her. Then my afternoon (which normally I would up for the 3:00 pm) could be spent with AB. I know she's fine, but I can't help but feel guilty. Staying in the afternoon made me feel like I was actually getting to see her. The last few days, I feel like I've just loved on her and hugged her in passing. It's a sad feeling. So, I would call in the afternoon to check on her, and then Austin would go up at 9:00 pm for her night feeding. It was hard, but I thought this was the best plan for both our kids right now.

I called at about 4:00 to see how her 3:00 feeding went - praying for some good news, something to encourage me. No such luck. She had 35 ml/cc in about 25 minutes. *sigh* This was not what I wanted to hear. So, my evening was a sad one. I just want her to do better!

So, I thought I was going to be ok spending my few hours with her the first part of the day and then sending Austin off at night. Nope. I didn't do well. The closer it got for him to go up to the hospital, I just lost it. I bawled and bawled. We decided just to pack up AB and we'd all go up there. We would just take turns going into her room and loving on her. So, this is what we did.

When we got there, I went in first to change her diaper, take her temp and do the things we do before she eats. When I walked in, to my surprise, I found that Landree has a new roommate! He's a cute one, too. His parents were in there with him and very sweet. He's having the same issues as Landree right now. However, he is a lot more premature than she is. Austin came back in to feed Landree. I thought for sure she'd do better with Mommy and/or Daddy feeding her. No such luck again - she didn't meet her goal. She just had 40 ml/cc. It's always the last 5 or 10 ml/cc that is the hardest, because by this point - she's done. She's OUT and ready for sleep. I'm hoping and praying for better news tomorrow. I'm praying it just clicks with her.

In my mind, her stay in the NICU was going to be one or two days. Now, I don't know. I'm very grateful for the outpouring of words of encouragement, prayers and meals that people are providing us. Austin and I feel so incredibly blessed to have amazing friends who take care of us. I seriously sit around wondering how it is possible to show my gratitude to everyone who has been so wonderful.

Please continue to pray for my girl. I would love to get there in the morning and she had an amazing night of feedings.