Landree's Stay in the NICU: Days 21-22

April 27-28, 2012

I'm very fortunate that Landree has had some amazing nurses up to this point. She had the same nurse for about four days, and I can't tell you what a difference that made. The nurse took the time to get to know Landree and what she needed to work on, and she made the best decision she could make for her - bottle feed and not gavage. I felt that this nurse is a big reason Landree started making the improvements she had. She took the time to feed her and not give up on her after about 15 minutes. Needless to say, I spent two full days up at the hospital this week feeding LC and she tends to take the bottle best from me, so I think this helped with her progress, also. 

Friday morning I wasn't able to make the 9am because AB's MDO didn't start until 9:15. After I dropped AB off, I headed up to the hospital. I walked in to find our nurse, Donna, gone (boo, hiss!) and a new nurse in her place. I do try to have an open mind about each nurse and be optimistic that they will love Landree as much as the last. I instantly got a fake, insincere vibe from this nurse...unfortunately. I still tried to overlook it and hope I was just wrong. When I asked her about her feeding she told me she at 40 ml....then she changed it to 45 ml....and told me she gavaged the rest. When I asked her why she took this low of a volume, she said she was just very sleepy and did a lot more "munching" than sucking. I tried, tried, tried, to not lose my cool. And I didn't. But I was mad. Very mad. Seriously? You expect me to believe that the best this baby would give you is 40 ml? I don't think so. She hadn't done 40 ml in like a week! The least she was taking was 60 ml (her goal being 70 ml). I had to turn around and walk away. I was afraid I was going to say something I'd regret. This fired me up! I wasn't about to come this far to have Landree's progress on the decline because of a lazy nurse. That's all it was. Sheer laziness. 

By this point, she had been on only bottle feeds for over 24 hours. I was so impressed and encouraged by her progress. But I felt this nurse had read back in her charts about her lethargy, trouble sucking and her syndrome. My guess - it was all just a convenient reason to give up on her after 40 ml. Oh, no. No, no, no. There are no excuses to expect anything less than her best...even at three weeks old. Her condition is FOR SURE not going to be an excuse nor a crutch to her. I don't intend to start that bad habit. I was so disheartened this nurse had. I pondered on what to do, and realized I hadn't asked her how she did on her night feedings. I calmed down a bit, and did consider I was just overreacting. I was tired of being there - perhaps I was just taking it out on this nurse. If she did poorly at her night feedings (with a different nurse, which by the way - I loved!), then maybe it wasn't this nurse's fault. So, I got up, walked around the corner and {calmly} asked her what her volumes were like in the middle of the night. She seemed irritated with me. Again, I kept a calm composure. Ready for this?  Midnight - 70 ml, 3 am - 65 ml,  6 am - 70 ml. BAM! Like I said, LAZY!!!! I could tell she recognized that her 45 ml feeding with Landree seemed really ridiculous. I politely said, "Thank you." and went back to holding my baby. Oh, but first, I asked to speak to the doctor. I had to discuss this with her. 

I have to be honest, in some ways, I am thankful for Nurse Lazy. It really got me fired up to the point to where I knew I had to take my baby home, and SOON. Very, very soon. No more of this, "We'll give it a few more days to see how she does" business. No, we are going to something NOW!!!!! Like Austin said - that poor nurse. She had no idea that she gavaged the wrong baby that morning. That did not fly with this Momma. Plus, I was just ready. I was starting to nit pick...at everything. That place was starting to bring out the worst in me, and I knew I had to bring my baby home. She was ready. I fully believed with all my heart she was ready, and I really hadn't felt that up to this point. 

Dr. Khan came to talk to me. Thank goodness it was Dr. Khan. The first thing she commented on was how impressed she was with her volumes. I agreed and told her that the 40 ml this morning wasn't ok with me and I knew she could do better. She more or less cut me off mid-sentence and said, "Ok then, mom, let's do something about it! Let's get her out of here. Can you room in with her asap?" I didn't hesitate. I told her I could and I would do it that night. She agreed. So, for the next 48 hours, I would b calling the NICU my place of residency, also. I honestly wasn't looking forward to it, but I was looking forward to bringing my baby home, and if this was the only way - so be it. They were to take out the feeding tube and she would get straight bottle feeds from me, and if she met her goal for 48 hours, then she would be ready to go home Monday. Yes! Thank you, Lord, yes! Monday sounded amazing! 

I didn't stay for her 6pm feeding on Friday. I went home to pack a bag and spend time with AB before the weekend. I knew I probably wouldn't see her hardly at all. This broke my heart. I couldn't wait for all of this to be over. 

Austin headed back up to the hospital with me for the 9 pm feeding and to get me situated before he left to go back home. LC was wide-eyed and ready to eat for us. I love looking at her beautiful face WITHOUT that darn feeding tube. Love her.

They put LC and I up in a cracker jack box of a room with no windows, but I couldn't complain, I was with my girl. Austin told us "good-bye" and went home to AB. It was just me, LC and my trusty Kindle Fire to get me through the next 48 hours (seeing as that there was no tv in that room!).

Well, it didn't take me long to remember what it was like to have a newborn. Up every three hours feeding, and feeling utterly exhausted. It was wonderful. Absolutely wonderful - no complaints here! We had our same wonderful night nurse, whom I thanked over and over for taking the time to bottle feed and not gavaging. I felt like it was her efforts that gave her that extra push in being ready to go home. Then Saturday, we had another nurse that has taken care of LC a couple of times before. I love it when we know our nurses. Makes things so much easier. Since she had done AMAZING on her nightly feedings...eating 70-85 ml at each feeding, and doing the same well into the next day, our nurse called the doctor and told her she really thought LC was ready to go home. She complimented us both and told her she felt that we were good to go. Dr. Khan agreed, and instead of Monday, said we could go Sunday!! What?!? Really?!? We had it nailed down? I was in disbelief.

So, Landree and I just kept at it. I wasn't taking "no" for an answer from her. If she started to get sleepy, I burped her, moved her around, whatever it took to get her eating again. She always did. She didn't let her momma down.

It was bath night, and since I was staying there with her, I gave her her bath. It felt good to do normal mom things with my baby, instead of having strangers do it for me. After bath time, I put her in one of her new onsies and pants I have been dying to put on her. And what's an outfit without a big bow??? We needed one of those, too - better start practicing now, LC.

I was so excited for the next day. I didn't even mind the every three hour feedings and thinking about getting little sleep. Who cares! I was going home, and taking my girl with me. I couldn't have been more excited! Prayers were being answered. God is good. All the time.